How to Find Faith During a Divorce… February 7, 2013

I have been having this issue lately. I haven’t desired to reunite with my ex-husband…I have just felt like everything has been working against me and I find myself saying, “Is this my punishment for initiating the divorce?” So, I did a little research to see what articles were out there to help me figure out my path to finding my faith again. This is what I found:

“You stood before family and friends on your wedding day, thrilled to be able to spend the rest of your life with your one true love, but now that dream is over. When a marriage ends prematurely through divorce, it’s natural to feel lost, scared, sad or faithless. If your relationship with God was once strong and thriving, you may find that you struggle to feel that same connection. While a divorce is a difficult process for you, your former spouse and any children you may have, it is possible to get through this period of your life and find faith to help you along the way.

 

Instructions:

• Remind yourself that the divorce is not entirely your fault. Whether you chose to leave your spouse or it was your spouse’s idea to terminate the marriage, remember that it always takes two people to make a relationship work. Avoid placing all of the blame on yourself.
• Forgive your spouse for his/her failures. You cannot move forward with your life until you are able to completely forgive his/her mistakes. While the divorce is not entirely your fault, it’s not completely his/her fault either. Forgive your spouse in your heart and, if your relationship is still civil, verbally convey forgiveness.

• Spend time in prayer each day. Don’t worry about being professional or holy. Simply state your requests to God as honestly and truthfully as you can. Share your heartache, your pain, your hopes and your feelings. Ask for guidance and, if you feel weak, ask for strength to make it through this time.
• Read your Bible, Book of Mormon, Koran or other holy document. While it may seem simple, immersing yourself in your holy scriptures may help you feel closer to God and more faithful and calm. You don’t have to read a lot, but make an effort to read a page or two each day and to focus on what the passage means.
• Allow yourself to grieve. Don’t feel that you’re less of a person or less faithful for feeling sad about the end of your marriage. You don’t have to be strong all of the time. It is okay to cry, scream, yell or lose sleep over this. It’s normal. Just remember to talk to a friend, counselor, pastor or therapist if you feel out of control with grief, or if your sadness begins to affect your ability to maintain your daily activities, such as work.
• Spend time with friends from church, synagogue or temple who have experienced a divorce but who maintain a strong faith. You’ll be able to vent your frustrations and receive godly advice that helps you through this while maintaining a positive perspective.”

Read more: How to Find Faith During a Divorce | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_8279262_faith-during-divorce.html#ixzz2KBBK3jF9

 -DivorcedChic 

Study Shows Divorced Women Have Less Economic Security Than Women Who Stay Married… February 2, 2013

According to Jeff Landers, a Forbes.com Contributor:

“As a Divorce Financial Strategist (TM), I see every day how broken marriages impact the financial well-being of women.

Surprisingly, though, there isn’t much research documenting precisely how women fare financially in the years following divorce . . . and that’s precisely why a new study from the University of Connecticut caught my eye.

Kenneth Couch, an economics professor in the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences at UConn, studies the economic effects of unexpected lifecycle events, and he recently investigated the economic costs of divorce on women.

The unusually long-term study, developed in collaboration with the Social Security Administration, covered some 40 years across the lifespan of more than 2,000 women.

In general, Couch found that “family structure matters a lot” for women’s economic well-being.

More specifically, he looked at about 600 women who divorced in the 1970s. Couch found that over the past 40 years, or so, these women lost significant ground with regard to their financial well-being –unless they remarried.

Why? According to Couch, women in the study who did not remarry went back into the job market and stayed there, increasing their personal earnings until they retired. However, after retirement, these women did not receive the extra “boost” of a spouse’s Social Security benefit –and that boost turned out to be significant. The data revealed an average monthly Social Security benefit of about:

• $1,000/month for divorced women
• $2,000/month for divorced women who remarried
• $2,200/month for continuously married women

What do these results tell me?

Of course, the easy answer is this: Staying married can lead to greater economic security.

But, a simple statement like that tells only part of the story.

We know that about half of marriages will end in divorce. And we know that, even in the short-term, divorce hits women particularly hard. (See these recent figures from the U.S. Census Bureau which show that women who divorced in the past 12 months were more likely to receive public assistance, more likely to be in poverty and more likely to have less household income than recently divorced men.)

So, what the results from the UConn study tell me is that every woman needs a solid plan for her economic well-being. Every woman needs to establish financial security before, during and after marriage –even though that process can be extremely challenging.

In many ways, divorce knows no economic boundaries. Even for an affluent woman, divorce can be financially disastrous –or it can be an opportunity to secure a stable financial future. The difference lies in how carefully you analyze your current finances and plan for your future financial well-being.

Because –as I’ve been known to say before –when it comes to divorce, there are no do-overs. You get only one chance to get it right. That’s why women need to proceed with caution. They need to think financially, so that when faced with divorce, they can act wisely to secure a solid financial future for themselves and their families.”

To see the original article click here: http://www.forbes.com/sites/jefflanders/2011/11/01/study-shows-divorced-women-have-less-economic-security-than-women-who-stay-married/

-DivorcedChic